I am with Joan's brother, John Williamson.
"Hi, Snoopy. I was just thinking about you. Thanks for calling.
Yes, I'll be sure to pick up milk-bones for you."
Snoopy and I are in sync. But what does that mean?
The article, What Is Brain Synchrony? explains: ". . . when we think, feel and act in response to others, patterns of activity in our brains align. Scientists call this phenomenon interbrain synchrony. The extent of synchrony indicates the strength of a relationship, with brainwave patterns matching particularly well between close friends or an effective teacher and his/her students." (Denworth 2023) Or pets and owners, of course.
Years ago, my children and I were on the thruway, driving to visit friends. Quite suddenly, I became overwhelmed, feeling something was happening and I had no idea what it was. I was distressed enough to pull over until I felt ok to drive. That evening, my parents called and told me that my Aunt Ellie had passed away that afternoon.
Another example of synchrony involves my birth mother. She was required to care for me for six weeks at the Catherine Booth Hospital in Montreal following my birth. I have no doubt that six weeks was amply time for our brainwave patterns to match particularly well. I began my search for her in May 1983. For the next couple of months, I read everything I could find about adoption and searching. All I could think about was my birth mother and finding her. And I wondered why I was so troubled by these feelings. In 1988, Paul and I found her obituary on microfilm at the Toronto Reference Library. She had died July 21, 1983.
Finally, on a positive note, I love it when I am in sync with my now-adult children. Synchrony does not require proximity. It's a joy to be in sync, any time, any place.
Synchronicity is a broader phenomenon than synchrony, though the connections we experience in both are invisible. "Synchronicity . . . refers to meaningful coincidences that occur in our lives, events that seem to be connected in a way that goes beyond mere chance. These synchronistic events often leave us with a sense of awe and wonder, as if there is a deeper meaning or purpose behind them." (Yusim 2024)
An adoption caseworker in Montreal told me that they see highly meaningful coincidences frequently in searches and reunions. In fact, I only became familiar with synchronicity during my search for my birth parents.
In the Spring of 1988 at the Toronto Reference Library, I learned my birth mother's name, address, and phone number. The next day, I summoned all my courage and called the number. John, my birth mother's brother, and I talked for about a half hour. John was calm and very kind. He explained that Joan died from breast cancer following years of surgeries and treatments. She was only 53. John told me that he was her caregiver throughout her illness. He was devoted to Joan and never expressed judgment or shame for her pregnancy or relinquishing her baby. That phone call was the first direct contact with my original family since infancy. I had actually talked to someone who knew Joan!
The story continues: "I know this is silly, but didn't Joan work for the phone company? That call never appeared on my bill! Oh, how I wanted to see that phone call on my bill. It would be the written proof that I had talked to Joan's family. I was dying to see it and pay it! I even called the phone company. They had no record of the call. John told me that Joan worked for Northern Electric for thirty-four years. She was a hard worker, well respected, and active in the Northern Electric service organization, the Pioneers Club."
This part of my story and similar synchronistic events are described in Chapter 7 of Young Love - An Adoptee's Memoir. I was in awe, wondering about the deeper meaning.
"Synchronicity is a phenomenon in which people interpret two separate—and seemingly unrelated—experiences as being meaningfully intertwined, even though there is no evidence that one led to the other or that the two events are linked in any other causal way." (Weitzman 2024) I called Joan's home. John and I chatted for about a half hour. I never received the bill for the long-distance phone call. Joan worked for the telephone company her entire career. Clearly, there was synchrony between John and Joan, and Joan and me. However, I'm left wondering how I wasn't charged for the phone call!
Synchrony and synchronicity highlight the connections we have to each other. They are often called magical. They make us pause and appreciate our close ties with family and friends.
I think I'll call Snoopy and tell him I have the milk-bones.
Oh, here he is already! How did he know?